![]() It’s just building to a visually bland stretch of sword clanking and arrows shooting in some barren place with a bunch of brick walls and archways. There’s not much attention paid to training or strategy. Unfortunately the part of the movie that takes the least from Kurosawa is the meat: the preparing for, waiting for and then waging the battle. When he turns on a dime and asks for him to go on a quest the guy immediately agrees, explaining that he’ll do anything to protect children and old people. Lou tests him by taunting him into a fight and feeling out his strength and wrestling skills. In this version he’s doing it with a battle ax until some kids egg him on to do it with his bare hands. I guess he’s not strong or immortal enough to do it on his own, so he has to put together a team which includes some gladiator friends and a badass cynical mercenary lady named Julia (Sybil Danning, who had already been in the space version of SEVEN SAMURAI, BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS).Īs in both SEVEN SAMURAI and THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN they find one guy while he’s chopping wood. They find Han (Lou Ferrigno, also in his first movie, though he’d already done six seasons of The Incredible Hulk), a gladiator who is said to be immortal, but it’s not really explained very well. Find somebody worthy and get him to come protect the village. So she sends Pandora (Carla Ferrigno in her movie debut) and three other women into town with “the mystical Sword of Achilles,” which can only be held by the worthy. Obviously.Īn evil Ming-the-Merciless-Halloween-costume-looking-motherfucker named Nicerote (Dan Vadis from EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE and ANY WHICH WAY YOU CAN) who apparently has some kind of magic sorcerer powers threatens his own mother (Barbara Pesante) that he’s gonna come back and attack the village after the harvest. THE SEVEN MAGNIFICENT GLADIATORS is the sword and sorcery version of the SEVEN SAMURAI story. Julie’s step dad - hit in the head repeatedly with ash tray by demon Julieġ5.Enough with the cowboys. Principal - thrown out of window by demon Janeyġ4. Janey’s dad (Herb Miller) - given a heart attack by Tinaġ3. Johnny’s dad - shot 5 times by demon Johnnyġ2. - 9 teens turned into skeletons by bandġ1.Tony’s dad: sucked into the stereo by stereo monster.While the band appears to burn with the hall, Matthew and the town's mayor discover via the news some time later that not only did Black Roses survive, they recently played a large concert in New York City and plan to travel overseas to the UK. Despite some resistance from the band leader Damian, who transforms into a demon, Matthew is successful in both setting the fire and also waking the teens from their trance. Horrified and afraid of what will happen if the third performance goes unstopped, Matthew decides to burn down the performance hall. Matthew's favorite student Julie murders his ex-girlfriend Priscilla, as she saw her as a rival for Matthew's affections. Their parents also begin to die in various ways, with some being murdered and one being devoured by a record player and speaker. This doesn't sit well with Matthew, who senses that the band has something more sinister in mind than just playing music.Īs the performances continue, the teens go from normal to homicidal and antisocial. While the town's conservative parents are initially resistant, their concerns are mollified by the band's initially low-key appearance and by the town's mayor assuming that the band is harmless. One day, a heavy metal band named Black Roses arrives to play for three nights, after which they will move to their next destination. Matthew Moorhouse is a high school teacher working in the small town of Mill Basin.
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